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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Where's The Beef?
The newly married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in a floods of tears. He thought to himself, "Whatever could have happened?"
"Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.
"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I took it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone... " she sobbed again, "I found that the cat had eaten it!"
"Don't cry, darling," said her husband. " I promise I'll get you a new cat in the morning."
