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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Blonde Tidbits #8

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Q: How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

One day at the office, a blonde secretary was typing. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" - "Just use copier machine paper," the other secretary told her. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

Q: Why does a blonde prefer a BMW over Chevrolet?
A: Because she can spell BMW

A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, "Hi! I'm here to see the doctor!" In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."

Q: Why do blonde nurses carry a red Magic Marker?
A: In case they have to draw blood.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart blonde?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Rachel's blonde roommate had to make an emergency phone call to home and her pre-paid calling card had expired. Rachel suggested she call collect. The blonde picked up the phone, looked at Rachel bewildered, and asked, "What's the number to 1-800-COLLECT?"

Q: What can save a dying blonde?
A: Hair transplants.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.

Former Playmate Anna Nicole Smith, a blonde, appeared recently on the Howard Stern show. Stern engaged her in world politics and tensions in the Mideast. Smith obviously didn't know anything about it. Stern told her a few things about the region and then told her about the suicide bombers. Smith incredulously replied, "Doesn't that hurt?"

Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the Empire State Building. How do you tell them apart? The bleached blonde would never throw bread to the helicopters.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a Volkswagen?
A: Farfromthinkin.