Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Two By Fours

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A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright," said the clerk, "how long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

A few more minutes go by and the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."