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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

What is Easter?

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Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they may enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and we are thankful for---"

"Wrong!" interupts St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?"

The third blonde smiles confidently, looks St. Peter in the eyes and says, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

The third blonde begins, "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the Last Supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde then continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."