Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

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Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

We're staying together for the sake of the cats.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

My karma ran over your dogma.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.

Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.

Welcome to Texas, now go home.

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

Life's too short to dance with ugly men.

Life's too short to dance with ugly women.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me ... Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).

I is a college student.

Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Will Rogers never met a lawyer.

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.