Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

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The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.

Save the Whales, Shoot the Seals.

I want to be like Barbie, that witch gets everything she wants.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

REHAB is for quitters.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.

All men are Idiots, and I married their King!

I want to die in my sleep, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.

I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.