Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Train Story

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In a train car there were a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.

After several minutes of the trip, the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

Read more: Train Story

Top Ten Reasons Why the Canadian Union of Postal Workers Is Being Legislated Back to Work:

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  • Vancouver RCMP in urgent need of five thousand gallons of pepper spray delayed in transit by strike.
  • Preston Manning thinks "back to work" is really "back to slavery."
  • Conspiracy on the part of "X-Files" TV producers, who are running out of things for Sculley and Mulder to investigate.
  • Parti Quebecois votes "oui" to everything.

Read more: Top Ten Reasons Why the...

God On Canada

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

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Canadian Laws

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  • You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.
  • In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill a sasquatch.
  • Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.
  • In Montreal, you may not swear in French.
  • Also in Montreal, citizens may not relieve themselves or spit on the street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.

Read more: Canadian Laws 

Back from the Dead

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An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes.

Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

Read more: Back from the Dead