Courtroom Funnies #2

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"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"How many times have you committed suicide?"

Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were doing at that time?"

Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a dep- osition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

Q: "All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."