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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
How Long Have I Got?
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor.
He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?"
The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night.
The man then said, "Call for my lawyer."
When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes.
When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind.
The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."
