Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Practicing Law

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A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.

The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"

"No," the coroner replied.

The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

The coroner said, "No."

"Did you check for breathing?" asked the attorney.

Again the coroner replied, "No."

The attorney then asked, "So when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

The coroner, now tired of the brow beating, said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."