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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Top Ten Things Not to Say on Your Wedding Anniversary

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10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.

9. Today is our what?

8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?

7. I thought we only celebrated important events.

6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.

5. You never like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.

4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.

3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.

2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up.

And the Number One Thing Not to Say on Your Wedding Anniversary...

1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.