Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

Find Us / Like Us

FacebookMySpaceTwitterDiggDeliciousStumbleuponGoogle BookmarksRedditNewsvineTechnoratiLinkedinRSS FeedPinterest
Pin It

Hometown Catalogs

Hometown Catalogs Sale

Login Form

A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

It's Great To Be A Guy

User Rating: 0 / 5

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
 
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
  • You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
  • You can leave the motel bed unmade.
  • You can kill your own food.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
  • If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color.
  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
  • Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
  • Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
  • You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
  • Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
  • You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
  • You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • You almost never have strap problems in public.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • You don't have to shave below your neck.
  • Gas (at either end) is cool.
  • Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.