Maineiac

Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00 pm.

It's easier to curse a candle than light the darkness.

An egotist has one point in his favor - he doesn't go around talking about other people!

Viewer discretion may be advised, but it's never really expected.

Sign on the wall above a toilet: "Flush only Toilet Paper."

I don't drive fast, I fly low.

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

We don't swim in your urinals. Please don't pee in our pool.