Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Accident Reports

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  • Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
  • The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
  • I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
  • In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
  • I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
  • I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  • I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
  • My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
  • As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
  • I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.
  • I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
  • I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
  • The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
  • A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
  • I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
  • To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
  • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
  • The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
  • An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
  • A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.