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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Speeding?

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A man was pulled over for speeding.

When the officer asked for a driver's license,the man replied, "I've never had one."

When the officer asked if he had anything in the car he should know about, the man replied, "I have a stolen pistol in the glove box."

When the officer asked the man if he had anything in the trunk, the man replied, "I have my wife's dead body in there."

The officer went to his car and asked for his sergeant to come to the scene, which he did.

When the sergeant asked the man for his driver's license, the man handed it to him.

When the sergeant asked the man if he had any weapons in the vehicle, the man said he has never owned a gun in his life and when asked to open the glove box, he did and it was empty.

When the puzzled sergeant asked if he had a dead body in the trunk, the man said, "This is crazy! I don't have any of these things your officer has accused me of and I suppose next he's gonna tell you I was speeding!!!!!"