Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Sportsmanship

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At mid-point during a game, the coach calls one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside to talk with him.

The coach asks, "Do you understand what cooperation is, and what a team is?" The little boy replies, "Yes."

"Do you also understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?" The little boy nods his head.

"So," the coach continues, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nods his head yes.

"And when I call you off the ice so that another teammate gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a jackass, now is it?" The little boy answered, "No, sir."

"Good," said the coach, "Now please go over and explain all of that to your mother."