Computer Terms for Aroostook County (Northern Maine)

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  • Log on - Make the wood stove hotter
  • Log off - Don't add no more wood
  • Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove
  • Download - Getting the firewood off the truck
  • Floppy disk - What you get from downloading too much firewood
  • Ram - The thing that splits the firewood
  • Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter
  • Prompt - What the US mail ain't in the winter
  • Window - What to shut when its cold outside
  • Screen - What to shut in black fly season
  • Byte - What the black flies do
  • Bit - What the black flies did
  • Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season
  • Chip - Munchies for TV
  • Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat chips
  • Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway
  • Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
  • Lap top - Where the beer spills when you nod off
  • Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks at McDonalds
  • Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery
  • Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerio box
  • Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully
  • Enter - The only way to win those magazine sweepstakes
  • Web - What a spider makes
  • Web site - High corners of the ceiling
  • Cursor - Someone who swears
  • Search Engine - What you do when the car dies
  • Screen Saver - repair kit for the torn window screen on the camp
  • Home Page - map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods
  • Upgrade - Steep hill
  • Server - waitress
  • Mail Server - male waitress. Darn few in Maine
  • MS DOS - Some new disease they discovered
  • Sound Card - One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it
  • User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing your stuff
  • Browser - A problem moose in the Garden or Blueberry patch
  • Network - Mending holes in the gillnet
  • Internet - Complicated fish net repair
  • Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your network
  • Online - good sign there'll be clean clothes this week
  • Off line - the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground -better luck next week