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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Survivor: Mother

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This is going to be the theme for the next Survivor Show:

Married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks.

Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.

There is no access to fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.

The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 A.M; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.

The last man wins only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years - eventually earning the right to be called "Mother".