Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Yo' Momma #4

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YO' MOMMA SO DUMB...

  • she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!
  • she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
  • she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's!
  • she got locked in the supermarket and starved to death!
  • she used bus tickets in a taxi!

YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

  • we have to grease the door frame and dangle a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through the door!
  • she sat on a dollar and made change!
  • she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!
  • when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
  • she was lying the beach and the lifeguard asked her to leave the beach because it was getting late and the tide wanted to come in!
  • she has a refrigerator strapped to her waist, and it looks like a pager!
  • she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world!
  • she sat on the beach and Green peace threw her in!
  • she can't even jump to a conclusion!
  • she's moving the Earth out of its orbit!
  • she has 48 midnight snacks!
  • she plays pool with the planets!
  • she made Richard Simmons cry!
  • when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan!
  • she don't know whether she's walking or rolling!
  • she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic!
  • she went outside with a yellow dress on, bent over and a man yelled "TAXI!"
  • when God said let there be light, he said move your fat ole butt out of the way!
  • she fell in love and broke it!
  • when she first tried on high-heels, she struck oil! (my personal favorite of the bunch)
  • one day she was wearing yellow pants walking down the street and a kid said "hey the bus past me!"
  • her belt's the equater!
  • it takes more then one driver's licence to get her picture on it!

YO' MOMMA'S TEETH SO YELLOW...

  • I can't believe it's not butter!
  • she walked into church smiling and the priest said "I see the light!"
  • she smiled at the sun and the sun said "I quit!"

YO' MOMMA SO POOR...

  • I walked by yo' house and saw you under a skateboard and said "What are you doin" and you said "fixin the family car!"
  • I walked in yo' house and stepped into the backyard!
  • when I walked to yo' house and rung the doorbell, yo' momma stuck her head out the window and said "DING-DONG!"
  • I saw her shopping and told her to get the hell out of my trash can!

YO' MOMMA SO OLD...

  • she used to hang with the Hebrews!
  • she fart out dust!

YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...

  • when she stuck her head out the window she was arrested for mooning!

YO TEETH SO BUCK...

  • it look like Yo' Momma had an affair with Mr. Ed!