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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Now That I'm Older

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Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

  • I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
  • My wild oats have turned into All Bran.
  • I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses ...they're everywhere.
  • These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter ...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.