Maineiac

A dog will tilt his head and try to understand every word you say.
A cat will ignore you and take a nap.

A cat looks silly on a leash.

When you get home, a dog will be happy and lick your face.
A cat will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

A dog will give you unconditional love until the day he dies.
A cat will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

A dog knows when you're sad, and he'll try to comfort you.
A cat doesn't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

A dog will bring you your slippers.
A cat will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.

When you take them for a ride, A dog will sit on the seat next to you.
A cat has to have her own private basket, or she won't go at all.

A dog will come when you call him, and he'll be happy.
A cat will have someone take a message and get back to you... maybe.

A dog will play fetch with you all day long.
The only thing a cat will play with all day long is small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain.

A dog will wake you up if the house is on fire.
A cat will quietly sneak out the back door.