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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets
- Have a torrid fling with a street mutt.
- Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
- I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
- Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
- Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
- Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
- Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a furry rat or they'll flush me.
- Always scoot before licking.
- Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
- Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
- January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. - I will NOT chase the darnrd stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND!
