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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Polly Want A Translator?

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Myron's mother was very hard to please, but one year he thought hard and finally came up with a truly inspired birthday present: a pricey parrot that spoke six languages.

He arranged to have the bird delivered to her apartment a few hours before he was to arrive for the birthday dinner.

"So, Mom, did you get my present?" he asked.

"Yes, Myron, I did. And I must say, it cooked up very nicely."

"You didn't cook it!" Myron gasped. "That bird cost me $1,500. And it spoke English, Portuguese, Mandarin, Urdu, Arabic and Russian!"

"Now Myron," the old woman chided, "if it really spoke all those languages, why didn't it say something?"