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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Praise The Lord!

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This man had always wanted a horse, so one day he went into the country and found a rancher who sold horses. The rancher, having only one horse to sell, said, "This horse is very different because it grew up in a religous place and to get it to go, you have to say 'Praise the Lord' and to get it to stop, you have to say 'Amen'" So the man said he'd take it.

As he was riding home, he came to a 200-foot drop. In panic, he yelled "Whoa!" but the horse did not stop.

Then he remebered what the rancher told him. "Amen!!!" he yelled. Thankfully, the horse stopped immediately.

The greatly relieved man, realizing how close he had come to falling over the edge of the drop, looked up at the sky and exclaimed "Praise the Lord!"