Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Pretentious Parrot

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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.

The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to work.

On the way home, she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

She was incredibly ticked now.

The next day, the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store if they didn't do something about that rude bird.

The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work, the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said, "Yes?"

And the bird replied, "You know."