Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Signs Your Cat is in With The Wrong Crowd

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  • One day, without your permission, he gets his ears pierced.
  • Your credit card is overcharged, mainly for 9-Lives cat food.
  • You find, attached to the refrigerator, a note that reads: "Leave a steak on the front porch at midnight, or you'll never see Spot again."
  • Too many times a week your cat comes home after one in the morning, totally plastered and with a strong odor of catnip about him.
  • You come home to catch him in the act of raiding your liquor cabinet.
  • Several hundred dollars' worth of phone calls appear on your phone bill to 1-900-PUSSYCAT-MEOW.
  • You find out that the lifetime's supply of cat food wasn't a prize from "Kitten's Life" magazine, but that your cat has been selling catnip in the neighbourhood.
  • After failing to get your attention with constant meows and by rubbing up against your leg, your cat pulls out his Magnum-44 and aims it at you, demanding "Friskies" and catnip.