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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.


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A man is sitting next to the window in an airliner, which is about to takeoff, when another man with a Labrador Retriever sits down in the two empty seats alongside him.

The Lab is situated in the middle, and the first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline.

The dog's handler said, "Don't mind Sniffer... he's a "sniffing" dog, the best there is; I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work."

The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Sniffer, search."

Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. He then returns to his seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm. His master pats him on the head and tells him "Gooood boy!"

The handler turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this and her seat number for the police, who will apprehend her on arrival."

That's unbelievable!" replies the first man.

Once again the handler sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the handler's arm.

The handler says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again I'm making a note of this and the seat number."

Amazing!" says the first man.

A third time the handler sends Sniffer to search the aisles. Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while sits down next to someone. He then comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and craps all over the place.

The first man is really grossed out by this behavior from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, "What the hell was that all about?"

The handler nervously replies, "Sniffer just found a bomb..."