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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.


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A blond is living on property that she feels has too many trees. So she decides to go to the hardware store to get a chainsaw and chop down some of these trees.

She sees a chainsaw with a tag on it that says, "With this chainsaw, you can cut one hundred trees in a day!"

She buys the chainsaw.

The first day with the chainsaw, she is only able to cut down two trees.

Thinking this is not nearly enough for a day, she gets up really early the second day, but she is only able to cut down three trees that day.

The third day she decides there must be something wrong with the chainsaw, so she takes it back to the hardware store.

While the hardware store manager is checking to see what is wrong with the chainsaw, he turns it on.

The blond turns around in disbelief and screams, "What's that NOISE?!"