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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Got Milk?

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The blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful, so she left a note for the milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Thinking she probably meant 1.5 gallons, he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman replied, "Oh, alright. Would you like it pasteurized?"

The blonde replied, "No, just up to my waist."