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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Hair Cut
A blonde goes to the hair dresser with headphones on her head. The hair dresser says, "You have to take off the headphones."
The blonde refused. The hair dresser tried to cut around the head phones, but she couldn't manage.
The hair dresser took the headphones off the blonde and she passed out. The hair dresser put them back on and the blonde came to.
Completely perplexed, the hair dresser took the headphones and listened.
From the headphones, she heard "Breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."
