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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Statue Committee

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Dear Friend,

I have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for raising five million dollars to place a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D.C.

This committee was in quandary as to where to place the statue. It was not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of all. He left, not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, did not know where he has. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money.

Over 5,000 years ago, Moses said to the Children of Israel; "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 5,000 years later, Roosevelt said; 'Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel. This is the Promised Land."

Now, Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick you asses, raise the price of camels, and mortgage the Promised Land. It you are one of the fortunate people who has any money left after paying taxes, we will expect a generous donation as a contribution to this worthwhile project.