Twas the night before impeachment and all through the House
All the Congress was stirring, even Conyers, the louse.
The Articles were hung on the Capitol with care
In hope that old Bubba would be trapped in his lair.
Republicans were warmly nestled with Feds
While visions of perjury danced in their heads
And Barr with his rhetoric, and Hyde with his trap
had just settled in for an afternoon nap.
When out in the Gulf there arose such a clatter
They tuned CNN to see what's the matter
And what to their wondering eyes should appear
but Tomahawk missiles cruising like reindeer
With a presidential address, so lively and quick,
they knew in a moment it must be Ol' Slick
More loyal than beagles, his supporters they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name
Now Conyers, Now Gephard, forget about the Vixen!
On Barney! On Maxine! Hey I'm no Nixon!
From Capitol Hill to the Washington Mall
Now dash away, Poll away, Fool them all
And then the Republicans heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little goof
As they scratched their head and were turning around
Resilient ol' Slick polled another rebound.
No longer was he eating his big humble pie
While assaulting Saddam with bombs from the sky
A bundle of weapons he had flung at Iraq,
It looked like again Slick Willie was back.
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples so merry
he searched for an intern - he wanted a cherry.
His droll big mouth was all drawn in a grin
he knew all at once he had fooled them again
The stump of a stogie he held in his teeth,
The smoke had encircled his head like a wreath
He had a broad face like an old lumberjack's
and a big round belly from eating Big Macs
He was chubby and plump a right jolly old elf
the Republicans wept in spite of themselves
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave them to know they had something to dread
He spoke the right words and went straight to his work
Ignoring the fact that some think him a jerk
And shaking his finger, and thumbing his nose
by "Wagging the Dog" up the polls he rose
He turned to his spinmeisters and gave them a whistle
They cheered Slick Willie as he launched one more missile
They heard him exclaim, with Impeachment out of sight
"Happy Ramadan to all, and Thank God for this fight"