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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

What Version?

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To the question, "What version of Windows are you running?" these answers have been given to Tech Support personnel:

"Windows 97."

"Windows 99."

"Windows Express."

"Windows 85 -- uhh, why are you laughing?"

"I'm not running Windows. I'm running Office 97."

"How would I know? You're the technician."

"The Microsoft version."