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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
You Know You're In A Cheap HMO When...
Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
Directions to your doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
Tongue depressors taste faintly of fudgesicle.
The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "An apple a day."
Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
"Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
