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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Universal College Professor Translator

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You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field - I wrote the thing and need the royalties.

If you follow these few simple rules, you'll do fine in this course - Providing, of course, you don't need any sleep or other 'life.'

The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important - I don't understand this at all either.

Various authorities agree that... - My hunch is that...

The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class - I don't know.

Come see me during my office hours for an answer to your question - I don't know.

In answer to your question, there are several disparate points of view - I really don't know.

Today we are going to discuss a most important topic - Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.

I haven't time to consider all the people who made contributions to this field - I disagree with what roughly half of the people in this field have said.

We can continue this discussion outside of class - I'm tired of this, let's quit (and/or) You're winning the argument, let's quit.

Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion; It will be a good educational experience - I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.

Any questions? - Alright, I'm ready to leave now.

The implications of this study are clear - I don't know what all this means either, but there'll be a question about it on the next test.

The test will be 50 questions, multiple choice - The test will be 60 questions multiple guess, plus three short-answer questions (1000 words or more) and no one will score above 65 per cent.

The test scores were generally good - Some of you managed a C+

The test scores were a little below my expectations - Where was the party last night? (and/or) Did any of you idiots even bother to study?

Some of you could have done better - Everyone flunked.

Before we begin today, are there any questions about previous material? - Has anyone bothered to open the book yet?

According to my sources... - According to the guy who taught this thing last year...

It's been very rewarding to teach this class - I hope they find some other sucker to teach this turkey next year!