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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Top Ten Reasons Why the Canadian Union of Postal Workers Is Being Legislated Back to Work:

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  • Vancouver RCMP in urgent need of five thousand gallons of pepper spray delayed in transit by strike.
  • Preston Manning thinks "back to work" is really "back to slavery."
  • Conspiracy on the part of "X-Files" TV producers, who are running out of things for Sculley and Mulder to investigate.
  • Parti Quebecois votes "oui" to everything.
  • Hockey fans think if strike ends soon, they can send Mark Messier to Japan Olympics via inexpensive parcel post.
  • Georges Clermont, considering retiring from his $380,000 annual income job as Canada Post President, wants to make sure he gets his pension cheques promptly.
  • Conservative party still blames postie union for loss of several hundred seats during previous two elections.
  • Sheila Copps terrified she won't get the latest Victoria's Secret catalogue in time for Xmas shopping.
  • Bill Gates told Jean Chretien "Don't negotiate; everyone who counts has e-mail."
  • Roche Carrier still sore about that darn sweater.