- Vancouver RCMP in urgent need of five thousand gallons of pepper spray delayed in transit by strike.
- Preston Manning thinks "back to work" is really "back to slavery."
- Conspiracy on the part of "X-Files" TV producers, who are running out of things for Sculley and Mulder to investigate.
- Parti Quebecois votes "oui" to everything.
- Hockey fans think if strike ends soon, they can send Mark Messier to Japan Olympics via inexpensive parcel post.
- Georges Clermont, considering retiring from his $380,000 annual income job as Canada Post President, wants to make sure he gets his pension cheques promptly.
- Conservative party still blames postie union for loss of several hundred seats during previous two elections.
- Sheila Copps terrified she won't get the latest Victoria's Secret catalogue in time for Xmas shopping.
- Bill Gates told Jean Chretien "Don't negotiate; everyone who counts has e-mail."
- Roche Carrier still sore about that darn sweater.