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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Train Story

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In a train car there were a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.

After several minutes of the trip, the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought, "That American wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face!"

The fat lady thought, "This dirty old American laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him!"

The American thought, "That Canadian put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me!"

The Canadian thought, "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid American again!"