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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

What Do You Do?

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You are the President of the United States.

You've just learned that there is an asteroid headed for France that will completely wipe out their entire country.

It is scheduled to hit about 2:30 a.m. in just two days from now.

You have enough ships and military personnel nearby that can help evacuate their people safely, but they are on stand-by in case of war with Iraq.

Your question: do you set the VCR to record the asteroid hitting France, or do you stay up to watch it live?


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At a conference that included admirals from many allied countries, there was a cocktail reception where there was a small group talking that included an admiral from the US Navy and an admiral from the French Navy.

The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learn English.

Read more: Silence

Officers' Clothes

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A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.

During one battle, The French captured an English major.

Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.

The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

Read more: Officers' Clothes

The Bitch

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The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"

The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

Read more: The Bitch