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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Official Language

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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of her negotiations, Her Majesty's Government con- ceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro English'.

Read more: Official Language


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I had to meet a friend of mine in a bar last week in the German Village area of Columbus. It was a business meeting, so I made sure to dress a little spiffier than my normal jean shorts and tee.

As I walked into the bar, I noticed Wayne was sitting at a table right next to a table occupied by a couple of drop- dead gorgeous blonde babes.

Read more: Nine


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Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear.

The Spaniard says, "Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish, it is pronounced 'Mariposa', a beautiful sounding word."

The French man says, "True, but Papillion, the French word for butterfly, is even more beautiful."

"What's wrong with Schmetterlink," asks the German?