Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Translation, Please?

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When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks.

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

Read more: Translation, Please?

The System

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The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations; you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."

The chief nodded.

Read more: The System

Smoke Rings

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A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar.

He stood at the end of the bar and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry Native American approached him
and said, "Now listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me that I'll smash your face in!"

Navajo Wisdom

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Evelyn was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

After a bit of small talk while resuming the journey, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag in the seat next to Sally.

Read more: Navajo Wisdom

Let There Be Light!

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An Indian wants his son to have it better than him, so he sends the son away to trade school.

The kid comes back after finishing electrician's training. The father takes him to the chief and is bragging about how smart his son is.

The chief says to the kid "Look, every time I gotta use the outhouse at night, I can't read because it's too dark unless the moon is out. Is there any chance you could put electricity and lights in the outhouse?"

Read more: Let There Be Light!