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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

15 Resolutions You Won't Keep

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  • I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
  • I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
  • I resolve to work with neglected own.
  • I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my e-mail.
  • When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
  • I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? Okay, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
  • No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
  • I resolve to back up my new 9GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...monthly, perhaps...
  • I won't try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
  • I will try to figure out why I *really* need 7 e-mail addresses.
  • When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."
  • I will read the manual.
  • I will spend only one hour on the Net a day.
  • I will think of a password other than "password."
  • I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning.