Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

Find Us / Like Us

FacebookMySpaceTwitterDiggDeliciousStumbleuponGoogle BookmarksRedditNewsvineTechnoratiLinkedinRSS FeedPinterest
Pin It

A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

New Year's Toasts

Be the host with the most (or the hostess with the mostest) with these very unique New Year's toasts!

A health to you,
A wealth to you,
And the best that life can give to you.

As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
- Irish toast

Here's a toast to all who are here
No matter where you're from
May the best day you have seen
Be worse than your worst to come.

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
- Old Irish Toast

Here's to Eternity, may we spend it in as good company as this night finds us.

Here's to our friends, and the strength to put up with them.

Here's to Prohibiton, may it continue to reduce the number of men who think they can sing.

Here's to us all, God bless us every one!
- Tiny Tim's toast from A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me
- Winston Churchill

I used to know a clever toast
But now I cannot think it
So fill your glass to anything
And damn your souls, I'll drink it!

Life, alas Is very drear
Up with the glass Down with the beer!
- Louis Untermeyer

Love to one, friendship to many, and good will to all.

May the clouds in your life form only a background for a lovely sunset.

May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age.

May the morning of prosperity shine on the evening of adversity.

May the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds of despair.

May we live to learn well, and learn to live well.

May you live as long as you want,
and never want as long as you live.
- Traditional Irish Toast

May you never lie, cheat, or drink.
But if you must lie, lie in each other's arms.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink with all of us
because we love you.

May your life be as beautiful as a summer day, with just enough clouds to make you appreciate the sunshine.

The Lord gives our relatives,
Thank God we can choose our friends.

To better times and a speedy calm to the storms of life.

Success to the lover, honor to the brave, health to the sick, and freedom to the slave.

May your nets always be full
Your pockets never empty
May your horse not cast a shoe
Or the devil look at you
In the year that lies ahead!

Good day, good health, good cheer, good night!