Murphy's Laws Of Parenting

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A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

For adult education, nothing beats children.

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

There are three ways to get things done:
1: do it yourself.
2: hire someone to do it.
3: or forbid your kids to do it.

You can learn many things from how much patience you have.