Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Playing Mommy & Daddy

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Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.

She says, "Put that away, Little Johnny. You can't have ice cream now. It's too close to supper time. Go outside and play."

Little Johnny whimpers and says, "There's no one to play with."

Trying to placate him, she says, "Okay, I'll play with you. What do you want to play?"

"I wanna play 'Mommy and Daddy,'" Little Johnny whines in reply.

Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, "Fine, I'll play. What do I do?"

Little Johnny says, "You go up to the bedroom and lie down as if you're taking a nap."

Figuring that she can easily control the situation, Mom goes upstairs.

Little Johnny swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He puts on his fathers old fishing hat. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.

His mother raises her head and asks, "What do I do now?"

In a gruff manner, Little Johnny says, "Get your butt downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!"