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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Bill of Fare

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A group of headhunters sets up a small stand near a well-traveled road.

The bill of fare is as follows:

  • Sautéed Tourist $10
  • Braised Reporter $12
  • Fried Diplomat $15
  • Barbecued Lawyer $110

A customer, noticing the great price differential, asked why lawyers cost so much.

The headhunter replied, "if you had ever tried to clean one of those devils, you would understand."