Question: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers?
Answer: No.
Reply: Good!

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Why don't snakes bite attorneys?
Professional courtesy.

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How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie?
His lips begin to move.

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How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road?
With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

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What do you get if you send the Godfather to law school?
An offer you can't understand.

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What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A great place to start.

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Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.

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What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.

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What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman pinscher.