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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Time for a New Lawyer
- During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
- When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
- During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.
- He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
- A prison guard is shaving your head.
- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
- He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
- He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."
- He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
- Just before trial starts, he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
- Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
- The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 p.m."
- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
- He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
