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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Secret Password

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(Thanks, Drew, for sending this in!)

An elderly man dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates Saint Peter welcomes him but states that the man must know how to spell the secret password to get in.

The old man replies, "You mean I don't have to know it, I just have to spell it?"

Saint Peter says, "Yes, that is correct, all you have to do is spell 'LOVE.'"

The old mans spells out L-O-V-E with excitement. Saint Peter opens the gate and says, "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter asks the old man if he could guard the gate for a few minutes while he goes to see God.

The old man does so and while he is waiting, his wife suddenly appears in a flash. He asked her what she was doing there.

She tells him that on the way home from the funeral, she had a bad accident and died then asks him to open the gate and let her in.

He tells her that she must spell the secret password first in order to get in.

She says "Okay, what is the word?"

He replies, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."