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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Wedding Toasts

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Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

We have been through the better and worse
(not always the better prevailed)
We've seen the richer and poorer
(the latter is most often sailed)
The sickness has outrun the health
(which often has caused much ado)
So now I pledge to you my heart,
till death do us part,
And pray all our dreams will come true!

Here's to love, laughter and happily ever after.
As (Groom) and (Bride) start their new life,
Let's toast the new husband and wife!

Me got him. He got me. We got us. You got that?

Here's to me
And here's to you
And here's to love and laughter.
I'll be true as long as you...
But not a minute after

Here's to good sense of humor --and a short memory!

May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Here's to that moment of sweet repose
When it's cheek to cheek and nose to nose
For after that moment of sublime delight
It's fanny to fanny for the rest of the night.

"Here's to the bride that is to be,
Here's to the groom she'll wed,
May all their troubles be light as bubbles
Or the feathers that make up their bed!

"To the man who has conquered the bride's heart, and her mother's."

Here's to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart."

Down the hatch, to a striking match!"

"May you grow old on one pillow."

"Here's to the bride and the bridegroom,
We'll ask their success in our prayers,
And through life's dark shadows and sunshine
That good luck may always be theirs."

The vows have been read,
The cake has been cut;
Let's hope that (bride's name),
Don't grow a big butt!

Here's to Eve,
Mother of our race,
Who wore a fig leaf
in the right place.
And to Adam,
Father of us all,
Who was Johnny-on-the-spot
when the leaves began to fall!

May "for better or worse" be far better than worse.

May your joys be as deep as the ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam.

Here's to marriage, that happy estate that resembles a pair of scissors... So joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet punishing anyone who comes between them.

May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries many.

Here's to you and here's to me,
I hope we never disagree,
But if, perchance, we ever do,
Then here's to me, to hell with you.

May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.

To keep a marriage brimming with love
in the loving cup
When you are wrong, admit it
and when you are right, shut up!